Deciding To Try

nicola
I didn’t want to do anything.

I cleaned my room. Well, I shoved most of my things into the closet. Out of sight out of mind right? I still didn’t feel better. I didn’t want to clean the kitchen because I didn’t make the mess. It would’ve taken me ten minutes, I could’ve listened to a podcast or a book and enjoyed it. I understand this but I just didn’t want to do it. I didn’t want to edit anything. I didn’t want to call GoDaddy support. I didn’t want to live in the house that I did or write from my bed or the kitchen table. I knew I could do things to start feeling better but I didn’t want to.

Sometimes the hardest part about getting out of a certain state of mind is deciding to try. It’s never impossible. I, and probably you, just give up too easily (or don’t even try in the first place!). What’s the quickest fix to a bad mood? A quick jolt of exercise! Control your emotions with motion.

Start simple. Sit or stand up straight, take ten deep breaths. Didn’t work? Try twenty jump squats. Didn’t work? Try twenty jumping jacks. Didn’t work? Try twenty pushups. Didn’t work? Start again with jump squats and repeat. Eventually you’ll feel better or pass out, maybe even die. At least it will have worked!

Simpler yet, try writing “I fucking kick-ass” 42 times or repeat it in your head. Why 42? It’s the answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe and everything. Counting will also steal brain power from feeling negative.

I find that the more random the thing you try, the more positive the outcome. Just keep trying things, don’t stop until you feel better. Don’t keep inflicting pain upon yourself.

The other day I ate what tasted like mouldy cheese mixed with baby vomit out of a container labeled “Plain Greek Yogurt.” Will I do that again? Of course not! When I go the theatre and end up hating the movie would I go see it again another day? Never! It wouldn’t feel good to do these things again. So why do we allow ourselves to feel bad by revisiting moments in our past that we regret? Or things right now that we might be missing out on? Or something in the future that hasn’t even happened yet! Most people will do some form of this everyday. I know I’m susceptible to it, are you?

Try things to get out of a bad state of mind and don’t give up until you are. Don’t make the mistake of thinking you have no control over you emotions, you can have complete control. Like a child learning to walk, you might stumble around, lose your balance, maybe even fall over. Stand back up and try again. Eventually those wobbly steps turn into steady strides and before you know it you’re across the room and in your mother’s loving arms.

I forced myself to start writing. It was awful. I hated every minute of it, until eventually I didn’t.

I didn’t want to do anything but, fortunately, I did anyway.

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